oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
