Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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