moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
