I wish I only lived at night.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
