are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
