I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Vodka?
Forever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
