I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
