Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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