i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
