is your mom at the bar?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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