question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
where are you?
Hypothermia
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
