so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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