ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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