even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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