The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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