Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Someone shit on the floor
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
