I puked a lego.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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