My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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