the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
