i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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