question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
