it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
