I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
