thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
