chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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