Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
