I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
