I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Mom said you looked used
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
