I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
