so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize