I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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