And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
