I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
