My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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