AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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