And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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