If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
