um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
