What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
