There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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