Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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