i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize