actually, I'm a sock model
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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