If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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