That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
