Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
