I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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