Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
