We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
