Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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