i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
