You're completely useless in the revolution.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
