In America we eat man semen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
