Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
