If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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