Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
