There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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