We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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