just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We got so high we made milksteak
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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